at the moment a name popped up in my brain called holes in my head, i thought of making a new blog and call it hole in my head, yet the idea is not applicable in my mental case because am not in a position to realize i have holes in my head less i wanna heal them, i think it's not time for cure, it's time to first realize i have the holes in my head,

first hole at the moment is society, it's either me against them or the with me not even me with them, now i realized i am not a satanic person because i do nothave this vice they have, i am a solipsist and i know i am and admit i am as well, having an abstract solipsist character by all means, an existentialist, i think for the world from my perspective, i believe there are billions of others but only live with mine, and the society hates that.

in a blink of an eye when u realize that al what u have from knowledge so far is nothing but water in a swimming pool, or may be in a cup, it never benefits from it but it's just a nice vessel to satisfy other's thirst.

being a solipsist got me no good, and no bad, got me no where, i don't feel bad about it, all i need is respect and understanding, then i can alter my belief to what i think is better.

sometimes som lack of comprehension drags you to the bottom, it does, even interaction with those who do not share your world is the worst thing ever, but unfortunatel you receive the message with humiliation and laughter, it happens everyday, but i thought it was just a joke, i don't feel that good by any means, i look for comprehension in the nearest places, i never find it though, i will live like the solipsist, not because i decided to close my world on myself, but because they decided to abandon me, because they just want to laugh .... pathetic they never tried to know what i have in mind, being generous at giving became pretty annoying, their ignorance and lack of comprehension became pretty annoying when i look around and realize it is that pathetic .....
just as i decide to end up my writings about them .... pathetic .... a new thing is me unheard made it more pathetic