Half insane .... and half dead!

I was wondering when will I decide to visit my cave again, and write with my untied senses again .... I was writing with my lost senses somewhere else .... but an Idea is like a virus, it takes time from being injected from the crystalline cover to the mind and to the crystal again to reach another mind .... it was haunting my brain till another MIND told me to write it down .... and I mean MIND, I admit mind is a real man's fortune.

I know I will be opposed by others who were shocked I had different opinion than theirs, but I am sorry my mind was monopolized only by me, and not being someone's ally is translated as being his enemy .... people believed in the false definition of a friend as someone who has the same enemies as mine ... I apologize I don't have enemies but myself .... My genuine enemy is me ... the person I am afraid of meeting after the long journey is me .. which keeps me sleeping to not to start the journey .... I don't want to be an object ... for the story starts from above and ends below ..... just like an hour glass.

It starts with the democratic ruler who is merely a monarch in disguise using simpleton's existence as votes in the elections ... and then he never cares what happens next ... and ends below when simpleton's anger is just used in successive riots ending with a revolution .... Are they still being treated like human beings or are they just being treated like arms and time bombs?

I can't care less .... but all I know is need is eternal but shapeless ..... need is forged as mind is forged ... I can't claim our needs were one but our goal became one .... I'll tell you what we wanted when we had the same anger in 1789 ... Kill the ruler, kill the 8 or 9 years old crown prince Louis-Charles .... kill his wife the Austrian blond Maria Antonia (Antoinette), use people's anger ..... get nobles and the king to pay more taxes than the ruled, destroy the monarchy all to all ... the same man who greeted the king Maximilian Robespierre was the one who dethroned him .. and was killed after being the king of France by the same people he used along with Saint Just .... they only mobilized people to serve their needs .... just like the nobles did while opening their salons for people pretending to be egalitarians ... still people's needs are being used as an object .... no matter how many ruler we will kill ... no matter how many riot we will gather ... still needs are being used as objects.

I will not say pathetic ... I will say Absurd and I won't beg your pardon for saying it ... or I would be the one to deserve the word pathetic.

Gears

I can't find space, no space around, I am a silent gear perfect for the machine ..... The machine has one hell of an engineer who invented it and became a name written on a stone, I don't think when he created the machine he thought it will be used this way, but all the manifested thoughts were the same.

The engineer gave the machine with billions of gears and assured him he will get the greatest outcome as long as he keeps the gears INSIDE the machine, which is typically the place of the perfect gear. If the gear rusted throw it away and replace it with a new shiny gear that fits your purpose.

The machines need finance to breget revenues, as long as it performs perfecty. and the gears just do their jobs till you unplug the machine.

The gears have to be senseless slaves to get the expected output ...... or else they will be thrown away ... and when they rust they are thrown away, and when the machine is totally consumed or depreciated it's sold as JUNK, to be replaced by a new machine with new gears and more revenues afetr slight investments, and the system goes on as long as it yields the one owner's expected outcome .......

apply it to the society ..... Pathetic

Dearest Companion .....

Assume you still have the power to speak and answer me .... and assume you can still formulate words and talk to me ...... listen .... we've been listening till we've gone deaf ..... but in this room I've heard a strange heart beat .... it's faint ... unlike mine once I came in .... I can only hear you around .... I hear you can barely breathe ..... you're trying to inhale as if the world has run out of air .... it's just the thin air where you and I have vanished .... along with our voices and our shadows ... the thin ice that cracked when we tried to walk with our heavy loads ..... one colour we can see .... confusion ..... yet we cannot see eachother ..... your heart beats are fading away again .... I can hear it as my eye lids close ..... may be I am mistaken .... I'm losing track of living ..... that I never recognized your fading heart beats belong to my chest .... and this hope was mere ILLUSION .... Pathetic

Sacrificed .... sanctified

So much like cause and effect .... few days after burning my shrine and moving in this bohemian manner I decided to be a watcher as a first step ... leaving preachers side was not easy till I realized how easy it is to become a preacher ..... sell heaven with few words ... no wounder no one listened to me when I was a preacher .... but I have watched that repeating ... they kill ... call it a sacrifice and the following action is sanctity given to the crime and the dead body and people would kneel in silence .... till every dead is sacred and nothing left is sacred .... pathetic.

leaving the side of preachers .... I secured myself with solitude of madness .... for philosophers and prophets were once called madmen ... I do not regret

No Exit as a title to be honest is inspired by the title of the play Huis Clos (translated as in camera or behind the closed door), yet it bears no analogy to the play itself .....

I have a story to tell ..... and you may figure what kind of analogy it bears to what we are through .... there was once a youngster .... his perception was built by dictations of the puppeteer ....... the second level was oppression of the puppeteer which he has learnt to accept in silence .... and that was the best way to feed oppression .... for it only grows with silence.

The youngster once decided facing deepest fears .... so he started shouting .... screaming back .... and reacting to the puppeteer .... surprisingly the puppeteer did not respond and carried on ..... The youngster resented out loud .... suprisingly .... when the youngster faced oppression as dakrest fear and has beaten it .... he figured out his real and deepest fear was not the chain .... his fear was "Decision"

For the puppeteer knows the youngster is so much like an illeterate peasant once he holds a gun .... the first thing he will do is trial ... and the first thing he will shoot might be his toes ..... the youngster has beaten oppression .... yet he had no definition of choice ...... Pathetic

I need to start with a very simple idea .... bad faith (my Godfather Jean Paul Sartre) .... bad faith can be expressed by paradoxical free decision, huge gigantic complicated expressions which people hate the most, yet let me explain it the way I see it, it's a simple internal fight we live in between partial aknowledgement to our freewill or choice and what we are forced to be .... so we are partial beings not showing total aknowledgement to freewill or to total slavery ..... dual nature as I might humbly call it, and we can apply it to every single aspect of life .... we forgot the fact we're human beings and identified ourselves with what we do .... which made us only live as partial human beings ..... living with this birthless rebellion because of an undeniable free will we can't defend and slavery we have to aknowledge to its' conception (Annuit Coeptis) just to be no more than an extra human in the breadline ..... total aknowledgement to freewill is the same as creation as I believe .... they are both the essence of this birthless rebellion

Liberalis ..... Freedom ... from which liberalism as a term came ...... Liberal ideology originally came to defend freedom ... prohibit slavery ..... free people from every kind of manipulation .... tyranny using religious slogans ..... and every kind of salvery.

John Locke an early liberal thinker simply believed in natural rights and started the manifestation in 1750 ..... people are barely interested in their phone numbers so lets speak about 259 years later.

feel free to talk, and the government will feel free to shut you up.

feel free to rebel, and the government will rebel back against you in jail.

feel free to to start a small business, and the government will feel free to suck your blood to the fullest.

feel free to own a property, and the government will feel free to tax you till poverty kills you.

feel free to demand things and the ROTTEN FINANCIAL ARISTOCRATS will feel free to monopolize and smash you.

Feel Free .... speechlessly yours