never-more or ever-more ... sometimes i wounder if it was made for some rest or it was made for eternal mental battles .... but if it were just made to help thinking of rest then why wud it exist??? sometimes i believe it was made for an eternal torture and no more ... just few seconds of thinking of the one who made it are capable of making me hate this person ... and hate this organ itself ... let me think (shit thinking again) .... how many of us had an idea in his mind and faced it by the conventional frames or faced the conventional frames by this idea? ... many ... and who faced HIM by this idea?? and who thought of HIM for like forever and never found what he is searching for??? treating HIM like the who always drives me sick of my mental capacity ... sometimes i wish i were one like the many not one of the few yet we could not land on our feet ... we landed on our heads with no protective skull like conventional frames in form of religion or societal fake values ... no wounder we can't even rest a head on a pillow because of too much thinking ... pathetic ... i know how it feels for thinkers ... and i was once a perfect lamb amongst believers .... both sides make no difference .... all sides are the same in the end or in our vital perception ... more than pathetic we never think how come all religions have miracles ... and all religions have relief to all believers ... what a mess ... and all religions led to opression for a while ... and hey what a a coinsidence ... all religions lead to salvation!!!!!!! wow ..... tell me one truth .... tell me onething right .... all religions have hell and heaven ... all religions have a JELOUS god like judaism ... what am i supposed to believe???? my mind??? .....

no wounder i've been dragged long ago to circles of confusion ... mad soul .... halls of temperament "insanity's crescendo and dark tranquillity" sarcastic but me (i mean true) .... do we create scenarios to find a meaning for an absurdist play??? then why the hell would i classify it as an absurdist play and then try to find a meaning???
it has just one meaning ... stick ... cnady ... reward and punishment and crime and what a punishment .... sometimes i believe it's fair because i know what it means when a very simple action determines a human's whole bloody life ... one simple turning point as simple as a game of throwing dice can determine a man's life ... pathetic in creation and judgement ... like Adham my friend said it goes like random collision .. yea ... things come out of the blues to hit you in the eyes ... another pathetic fact