may be if i were an absurdist i wouldn't have suffered, and may be the real reason for my being is finding reason for my being ..... and may be the logic beyond the universe is setting dimensions for the universe .... and may be that's where fantasies remedy a human's mind, and may be belief is what i need .... starting with nothingness and ending with nothingness is never logic, but it starts with the absolute and ends with the absolute ....

sometimes i believe it's absurd, but my mind goes in rebellion against the one who wrote the play because i never chose being one of the cast, and then i ask why did he exist as an author of the absurdist play? .... why existance? it turns to have no meaning but this cannot be, simply because i don't own the divine knowledge that gives me the ability to think but this is unfair .... or at least this is where i am led .....

i was born questioning and then accused of using my mind though it's my simplest right, and "absurd" is never the meaning i sought, and will never be ..... because finding the meaning in itself is the meaning that's what i believe sometimes .... and even if i am still questioning, i could answer some ..... and the answer was not "absurd" ......