sometimes i feel like i am on the verge of being a normal human who can merge with others simply like all people deal, sometimes i unintentionally become a pain in the ass, this is simply h0w it feels in another day in a work environment, being treated like a creature not a human, sometimes i believe all people are good to be friends, sometimes i hate them out of howmuch i love them, out of how much expectations i have, great expectations, another pathetic expression, my whole way of thinking shall change, when you become that intemidated and realized how unwanted you are things will go great, this is how people generally think because peoples' desire is just to be desired, not to treat others like they want to be treated, abstract humane fuckin need, recognition in an abstract mentally sick form, i don't want to have any social experience, i just wanna be treated like human, just human, with all needs of a human, including respect, just respect, i am a human with the value of a human, even if i have no knowledge at all, may be i do not have this kind of knowledge they care about, the only thing i cannot fake i am having is belonging, sometimes i never mean to belong but when i try and see rejection it holds me down again, tearing me asunder, sorry cruel world, the only thing i can't help but do is watching, pathetic again, has always been, self centerdness was the main trend i should have followed, sorry again cruel world, i am the one and the other, my unholy trinity again, ME, MYSELF, & I